Category Archives: Vents

White Girl Eggs and other myths…

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An ex called me the other day. I don’t know how he got my number, but I guess that’s a subject for another blog. I really didn’t feel like talking. Not because it was him, although he is annoying; but because I kinda have a rule about engaging in conversation before ten in the morning, or before I have my first cup of coffee. He happened to luck out because I am battling a bad case of insomnia, and the coffee was already brewing. After the salutations and other pleasantries the conversation went like this:

X: What are you doing?

Me: Making breakfast.

X: What are you making?

Me: Just eggs, bacon and toast.

X: You still eat those white girl eggs?

Like I said, the coffee was still brewing, so it took a minute for the question to register.

White girl eggs? I asked in my head. He must have sensed my confusion and added:

X: You know, all slimy and shit?

M: Over easy?

X: Yeah that. That’s that white girl shit.

I had no idea how I cooked my eggs was a racial thing. I know it’s not good for you with the risk of salmonella and what not, but at times, I like to dip my toast in the yolk. Intrigued as much as I was confused, I asked the obvious question:

M: How are over easy eggs a white girl thing?

X: It just is.

So being Caucasian and an asshole, I asked X to give me other examples of white girl things. Little did I know there was a rather lengthy list of things only white girls do or are linked to. For brevity sake, I’m only going to touch on a few.

White women do not season their food:

This came as a complete and utter shock to me as X has eaten and enjoyed my food. So much so, that he used to frequently ask when I was going to make gumbo again. I have a spice rack, and I keep a plethora of spices in the fridge for freshness and convenience. I don’t put white salt on my table because I feel if you season your food correctly, you don’t really need it. The rule in my house is: taste the food first, and then if you don’t like it, I’ll hand you a salt shaker after I suck my teeth.

The only things I may be guilty of are the overuse of garlic, but I have Italian ancestors, sue me. I’m also a little heavy handed with cayenne pepper. Certain foods I just like spicy.

So to make a sweeping generalization that white women don’t use seasoning, is not only asinine, it’s just simply untrue.

White women love hockey:

(Enter confused face). I don’t even understand hockey. I mean I tried to support my local team, but I am nearsighted and I never know where the puck is nor do I comprehend the fighting.

White women don’t use washcloths:

Okay, I blame television commercials for this shit. Every time a soap commercial comes on there’s a white chick rubbing the whole bar of soap all over her body. I don’t think anyone of any ethnic background does that. It’s just unsanitary. I have multiple loofas and washcloths for the different parts of my anatomy. For example, I don’t wash my face with the hoo-hoo cloth which is completely separate from the booty cloth. And I tend to use body wash instead of soap.

When a white woman’s hair is wet, it smells like a dog:

First, who goes around sniffing dogs? Secondly, how dirty do others keep their dogs? My dogs have always been exceptionally clean. Bailey smelled like peach doggie shampoo most of the time and Cheech smells like fabric softener. Although I don’t know why Cheech smells like that, and I’m a little worried. All that to say, if my hair is wet and you think I smell like peaches or fabric softener, thanks and carry on.

White women wear shorts all year long:

Fuck that. I get cold too easily. I may wear tights and/or leggings under shorts, but never bare legged. That’s just really stupid, and I don’t want pneumonia.

White women are the only women who like and drink pumpkin spice coffee:

I am white; I like pumpkin spice coffee. I also know women of other races who like pumpkin spice coffee. I call bullshit.

White women are pushovers and will believe anything in relationships:

Maybe it’s because I don’t get in other women’s business, or the fact that I don’t socialize with too many white women, but I think this is more of a dating naivety than a race thing. Most women make dating mistakes when they are younger. Limits come with time and a blending of good and bad experiences. Typically, once you have been treated well, you don’t go back to mediocrity.

Because I have a MFA in Creative Writing, I know people can make shit up. I watch actions. And even those can be suspect. So now, I watch for consistency.

I must confess that there were times I have done the drive-by, threw a cake, a toaster, and ruined a gaming console…and no I did not take the man in question back. So no, this white woman is not a pushover.

White women pay for everything:

GTFOOH!!! Next…

White women are always early:

Guilty as charged. Y’all got that one, but never before my first cup of coffee.

  1. I ate my eggs scrambled this morning with cheese, but it had nothing to do with this blog.

Anyone have any other cultural myths they’d like to debunk?

Feel free to comment below.

© Michele Mitchell, 2015

Illustration: www.clipartsheep.com

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Real Quick: For My Blogging Friends

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I feel like a jerk. I really do. I really want to read and comment on your posts, and I try. For whatever reason, reading EXHAUSTS me now. (Remind me to ask my neurologist why this happens)

I had to take a break from my fiction editing and writing too cuz that also wipes me out.

But I want to keep writing SOMETHING because it really does help with cognitive repair.

Hence the haiku, senryu, and a lil bit of tanka…

But I LOVE and APPRECIATE your support of my work more than you know.

Hopefully things will change.

~bohipsy~

I’m back…kinda sorta

Real quick I feel the need to apologize because I feel like I have abandoned my WordPress Fam.

!!!

Photo credit :www.brightandassociates.com.au

I’ve been dealing with the health insurance stuff again, trying to find a way to make ends meet financially, emotionally and Spiritually

Oh and I moved…lol.

So I’ve been busy, but I Love you guys and I’ll be around commenting, writing and posting again sooner than you think.

~bohipsy~

Generation “Yners”

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Researchers have documented the general classification that Generation Y folks were born between 1980-2000.

This blog only reflects a small percentage of those born within those dates, so more than likely if you are reading this I am not writing about you. However if some of my opinions sound familiar or upset you, my only advice is:

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

In order to express myself accurately, I will reference my brother Bob (or Rob) depending on the name you prefer to call him. Bob is a Generation Xer. He has overcome a multitude of adversities, and no he wasn’t /isn’t perfect, but he never used his adversities as excuses. Since I can remember, he has been a go-getter. He has always held at least two jobs. If he didn’t have a car to get to work, or shit anywhere he needed to go for that matter, did he bitch or beg to get where he needed to go? To my knowledge NO!!! What did Bob do? He fuckin WALKED!!! No not the often referenced “uphill, both ways in the snow” (but maybe he did, who knows), but he did walk MILES. I remember being told of a story where he walked over the bridge into Philadelphia with his broken ankle in a moon boot cast type thingy. So I have no sympathy nor respect for Generation Yners who complain when they can’t do something because it’s too hard or too far, or no one will help them.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

Bob’s temper has caused him to lose his job at times, but did he whine, bitch, crawl into a corner and cry and beg for handouts? UM NO!!! My brother would again WALK to places he saw were hiring and apply for a job. Of course he was told no at times, but when that happened, he sometimes would speak to the manager and say, “I’ll tell you what. Let me work for you for one day for free and show you I am a hard worker. At the end of the day. I’ll give you my number. Call me if want to hire me”

I tell ya what, I heard from a reliable source (Hi Mom) that Bob didn’t make it out the door before most bosses offered him a job.

So yeah Generation Yners:

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

To make it even more personal. I became disabled in 2012. Shit sucks. My income was cut in half. I actually want to work, but I physically and mentally can’t. So what am I doing now?

The best I can.

There are days when it exhausts me just to get up and fix myself something to eat, but I do it. Shit I may even have to take a nap after I write this, but I am making the effort. There are days I “fail”, but I don’t let that deter me from trying again. So it’s aggravating to see a physically and mentally capable person constantly doing the bare minimum.

My advice to the Generation Yners:

**Stop looking for a quick and easy way to make money. There isn’t one. What the above picture doesn’t show you that the “Easy Money” path leads straight to a dead end.

YOU HAVE TO WORK!!!

HARD!!!

**Stop looking for handouts: It’s okay to ask for help every once in a while, but when you do it constantly, it pisses the hard workers off, and “we” get sick of helping you. Shit, it takes everything in our power to handle our own.

** Stop Whining:Do you realize all of the energy you are using to complain about your situation can be used to change your situation? Besides all of that energy gets released into the Universe and will stay with you. No one wants to hire or be around negative people.

**Stop Self Sabotaging:Staying high or inebriated, WILL NOT HELP YOUR SITUATION, as a matter of fact it HURTS it. At least stay sober enough to pass the piss test. If you can’t do THAT, check yourself into a program to get help. Some of these programs are free, or almost free, and there are some that will help you find a job upon completion. If you don’t wanna stop your habits, quite frankly, you don’t wanna work

**The Internet can be a tool to assist you in finding a job or programs that can help you. If you only use the “net” to promote nonsense, you will be deemed as a person with NO SENSE!!!

** Create a LEGAL hustle: Mow lawns and yard work, or go to the store, laundromat for folk. Offer your services to the elderly and/or disabled who need your help. Set a reasonable price and DO THE BEST JOB you can.

** Accept what you are given: If someone is offering you twenty dollars a day to clean up giraffe shit, DO IT!!! That’s $140 dollars a week more than what you had to start!!! Will you smell like giraffe shit? Yes. Will you be exhausted? Yes. But exhaustion is synonymous with HARD WORK.

But you would know that if you quit your Yning and DID IT.

Live from Bungalow part Deux.

~bohipsy~

 

Do Writers Take Breaks?

I haven’t been posting; I know it, but I am not feeling well physically and emotionally. They (whoever “they” are) say that real writers should write something everyday.

I beg to differ. I need to be inspired ,and normally that comes from whatever emotion I am living at the time. With everything that is going with me presently, my work would be riddled with depression and fear. Writing work like that would exacerbate those emotions, so I choose not to write from the heart.

I could use prompts, but The Daily Post prompts as of late, suck. Sorry, but they do. At first I could pull a poem out of them. When that became daunting, I tried just answering the prompt in a short story kind of way. Now??? If I can’t finish reading them, I’ll be damned if I can write anything off of them.

My two fiction works are even on hold at the moment, I just don’t have the energy.

My mentor would tell me to read outside of my usual genres to become inspired. I would, but because of how I am feeling reading isn’t conducive right now. Shit, I can’t even read the blogs here, and my head is pounding trying to write this.

Am I pushing myself too hard?

Is it okay just to “veg out” until I am healed up, feel better or become inspired?

Do writers take breaks?

Love is Eternal,

Bohemian Gypsy

True Blood TidBits 7/20/14 ***spoiler alert***

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1.LMAO @ cow tippin Ginger off the coffin.

2. My La La said all the live long day. Would it be awkward if I proposed??

3. We are muthafuckin celebratin life!! –La La…Here here I say!!!

4. LOL @ Pam and Amber!!!

5. You don’t know us sweetheart; we can be assholes-Eric

6. Did I ever mention that I HATE Tara’s mama?

7. Bill bores the bejeezuz outta me now.

8. I so don’t like Jason’s whatever she is; Ion even remember her name.

9. Andy…lol…but Holly looks like hell right bout now. Did I just fuckin cry at that proposal??!?!

I suck.

10.Oh son of bitch!!! ARLENE is makin me cry now…ugh

11. LMAO La La saved the day with his credit card metaphor.

12.*raises hand* Was anyone else turned on when La-La kissed James??? Like “contemplating a real awkward threesome” turned on??? No? Just me? Damn La-La, damn.

13. REPUBLIC-CUNT!!!!! ________________________DNR

 

14. LMAO @ Keith dial down your sexy

15. Um…La La sho did tell Jessica the fuck off??? LMAO…get chur man boo boo.

16. You stabbed somebody Auntie; that’s why people think you’re crazy!!!- LaLa

17. I’m not a monster; I’m a Buddhist. I just can’t anymore with this heffa here.

18. Rut roh, Jason and Jessica.

OKAY WAIT MOMENTS:

  1. Who the hell are those Asian insurgents?
  2. Why isn’t Sarah Newlin DEAD YET?!?!?
  3. Da hell– Bill got the vampire AIDS too? 

 

The Last I Counted There were at LEAST 284 Idiots in the World.

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I wasn’t gonna post today. It was a complete “down day” for me, because I didn’t have the energy to apply myself to do shit except get dressed…but that’s not relevant, just know…

I wasn’t gonna post today.

I was meandering about Facebook, and I came across the shot of Willow and Jada Smith that corresponds with this blog. It was posted supposedly by Jada herself saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

I thought it was fucking adorable.

I scrolled down to read the comments and came across THIS ignant ass shit. Yes I MEANT IGNANT ass shit!!!

Here is the comment:

She is too young for hair dye and full face make up. Keep a kid a kid

At last count, 283 people clicked “like” on that comment.

I swear I wasn’t gonna post today

BUT!!!

Willow is 13!!!

13!!!

13!!!

She is the daughter of two high profile celebrities who are both eclectic and creative.

So WHAT, that she dyed her hair and has on make-up?!?!?!

Did anyone of these assholes bother to ask why she did that???

Was it for a movie?

A music video?

Was she just playing around in make-up and experimenting with hair color?

Was she trying to emulate her mother?

Or was she just being 13?!?!?!

I remember when I was 13, I used SunIn and KoolAid to dye my hair different colors and experimented with make-up.

What did my Mom do?

She berated me and put me on punishment.

NOT because I was 13!!!

BUT BECAUSE…

I did it behind her back.

Hence my point:

If Jada and Will do NOT have a problem with letting their children express their individuality, WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE SO UPSET BY IT??!!??!!

Do they know what their children are doing while they are busy berating the parental choices of others on the internet??

My last point (I think)…lol: If you don’t like what celebrities do or say…

CLICK THE UNFOLLOW BUTTON.

Damn…

Willow, I think you are dope; do YOU baby girl.

 

Love is Eternal,

Bohemian Gypsy

Ps. I wasn’t even gonna post today.