p.s. fuck drake

images

“I should have known that I would have to avoid Facebook because autoplay does not care about my mental health.”

~Ray(nise) Cange~

 

my tears have always formed a little too fast

flowed a little too swift

filled hollow spaces creating hallowed places

deep enough for baptismal

or drowning

choking

beating

shooting

it’s a god damned shame to now know

the exact number of bullets

that used to occupy a clip

since it only takes one to kill.

pardon my distractions but will someone let me off the hook

piercing through my conscious

immediately i was ashamed of myself

when i said i was dying for a cigarette

felt really selfish for enjoyin

video of whale leapin and chasin speed boats

guilty for sharing an ebay auction of my favorite artist

even worse for contemplating a bid.

i kid you not

today i asked a friend

a black woman

if it is okay for me to grieve

cuz i once read somewhere that a white woman’s tears

weren’t welcome

so out of respect i ‘ve always held them in

i now notice my jaw is always clenched

throat seems strangely swollen

tongue scarred by teeth marks

and i want to yell

scream

i want a fucking despise button

on facebook

because the cowardly cover-ups of monstrous murders

can not continue to be liked

tolerated then excused

i sat here confused

ashamed that i was avoiding this poem

not because i didn’t want to do it

but it’s been written before

for too many names

jeopardizing my own sanity

forgive this poem

because unlike the video from cell phones and dash cams

it wasn’t edited before posting

© michele mitchell, 2015

Photo credit: http://seen.co/event/sayhername–2015-2020/highlight/57572

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