Do you remember a recent dream you had? Or an older one that stayed vivid in your mind? Today, you’re your own Freud: Tell us the dream, then interpret it for us! Feel free to be as serious or humorous as you see fit, or to invent a dream if you can’t remember a real one.
Cue: If I was Your Girlfriend by Prince
Hilarious, that this is the prompt today because I just woke up (don’t judge me) after dreaming some BULLSHIT!!! (Remind me to stop doing guided meditations for lucid dreams). I don’t remember how we all got there, or how I managed to wake up without committing a homicide in the dream; but it was me the “man I am “seeing” (which loosely translates to screwing the shit out of him off and on for the past five years), and this really HOMELY chick that looks like Velma from Scooby-Doo. Apparently she was his “girlfriend”. As most dreams go, one doesn’t know “how one got to a certain part of the dream” but apparently we were all making small talk in a Starbucks and Velma chimes in with, “Girl how ironic, because he does that to me. I’ll get a phone call from him and he will whine talkin bout, “But the last time I saw you was three weeks ago, damn I miss you.”
I looked him dead in his face and he couldn’t make eye contact with me, so I excused myself and walked out. Leaving Velma stunned.
That dream sucked for me because including the whole screwing part, I have been hopelessly in Love with this “man” for twenty four years. Okay I Loved him for that long but we just recently reunited and rekindled our “relationship” Initially, I thought we were in an “open relationship” as we were both seeing other people for the past five years. I actually don’t see as many people as he (apparently) does because I guess my feelings run deeper than his. Oh, yeah that, and the whole damn near dying thing. I still have the picture of him kissing my forehead which was wrapped in a blood soaked bandage; and when I see my neurosurgeon he always asks about my fiancé is doing. I was damn near in a coma at the time so I don’t know who the fuck told my neurosurgeon I was engaged, but it’s a slap in the face with a limp dick every time he asks.
(continue reading to find out why)
So forgive me when I believed it when he calls and texts me telling me he Loves me.
Very recently (like yesterday) since we are both going through some financial problems, I suggested we get a place together and split the expenses. He returned my text saying, “Not a good idea. She would take one look at you and say, no, nada, no way.”
(enter my blood pressure rising, which is not a good thing because I have one more brain surgery left)
So what does the dream mean?
In Scooby Doo, we learn that the monsters are human beings wearing masks (don’t applaud me for that, I stole it from a meme)
I am a dumb ass for letting this bullshit go on for as long as I have.
He’s a dumb ass because he is with a broad who looks like a treasure troll with the IQ of an amoeba.
In the end to quote Vivian Green (Google it):
I gotta go. I gotta leave. So please don’t make this hard for me. I gave enough. I’m tired of Love. I gotta let it go.
Photo Credits: www.scooby-doo.co.hu